Getting Ready for Marriage

Showing Grace and Forgiveness

Read Romans 5:8.

Forgiveness is the glue that will keep your marriage together. Without giving and receiving forgiveness, you will disconnect from one another and lose intimacy. Forgiveness does not mean you will forget the wrong committed against you, but it does mean you make a choice not to hold a grudge. You don’t forgive because you feel like it, but because it’s a step toward healing. Forgiveness is a conscious decision. It may not necessarily remove the consequences or repair broken trust, but it does make reconciliation possible.

Because of our faith, we believe the greatest act of grace appeared when Jesus died for our sins. The sacrifice of His life on the cross made forgiveness possible, and now we are able to experience abundant life on earth and eternal life in heaven. This is the epitome of unconditional love. For us to receive God’s forgiveness and then choose not to forgive our spouse is the highest form of arrogance. When you forgive your partner, you are choosing to deliberately “drop the charges” of the wrong done to you. You are never more like Jesus than when you forgive. A healthy, thriving marriage is made up of two imperfect people who will hurt one another, but who also know how to forgive one another.

* Though this is one of the shortest lessons, it’s probably one of the most important. What is your motivation to forgive your fiancé when you really don’t feel like it? Have you witnessed Biblical forgiveness from them? Have you given it yourself? Look over the pattern of hurt and forgiveness that characterizes your relationship, is it healthy and Biblically based?