Devotions by Christine Caine

Read Jeremiah 30:17

God is ready and willing to restore us to health and heal our wounds as soon as we are able to let go of them and trust him.

Completely Whole

For more than twelve years, I had been wounded by abuse. All that pain made me seal away a part of my heart and soul in what I thought was a safe, protected place. I desperately craved close relationships, but feared them too—because I never wanted to be hurt again.

Maybe you’ve been there too. An overbearing boss crushes your spirit. An unfaithful spouse betrays your trust. Cruel friends trample your heart with spiteful words. Insensitive parents strip your confidence. Unthinking teachers call you stupid and tell you that you will never amount to anything, squashing your self-worth. Rebellious children stomp all over you. Abusers try to take your soul. Whatever the source of the attack on your body, soul, and spirit, the hurt stings and the damage goes deep.

And of course, you remember the exact moment of the damage—how the earth seemed to stop spinning, how the world came to a halt. You can’t forget the sights, smells, a song playing, what you wore, who else was there. These things freeze in memory, and a part of you freezes with them, forever stuck in that place, unable to move on. You may have been delivered from your situation, but you still aren’t free.

That was true for me. Though I was no longer in bondage to my abusers, I had shuttered my heart. I didn’t trust anyone, not even God. I kept him at a distance by giving him my time, but not all of myself. I didn’t trust him to take care of me. Nor could I forgive the men who hurt me, not even myself for being abused. Worse, I realized that I hadn’t forgiven God. Where was he, after all, when I was a helpless child and those men laid hands on me? How could I compel others to love God with their whole hearts when I kept a part of my own from him?

Although I was shocked by this revelation, God was not. Since he knows everything, he knew that if I were to be truly free, I needed to deal with my wounds. He was able to heal me—but I had to choose that healing. I had to accept that I needed help. I had to reach up to God and out to others as part of the healing exercise of a whole heart.

Point to Ponder

Is it difficult for you to trust because of painful wounds you received in the past? God is waiting to heal you, but first you must be ready to accept his healing touch. Begin by asking God to make you completely whole.