by Dudley Delffs

It’s not surprising that in the midst of simultaneous professional, family, and personal turmoil, Dolly Parton experienced a crisis of faith. When things are going well, it’s relatively easy to thank God for your blessings. But when everything’s taken away and you feel disoriented by the depths of your losses, it’s hard to believe God is still good and that he still cares about your well-being.

Dolly is no different than the rest of us. This painful season of loss was not the first time she had ached with grief and questioned God’s purposes. When Dolly was a girl, her mother almost died of spinal meningitis. Burning up with fever, Avie Lee was rushed to the hospital after a home visit from Dr. Thomas, the local doctor who had delivered Dolly. Their family knew it was serious if someone was taken to the hospital, and they worried they might lose their beloved mama.

Dolly remembers her grandma Rena, Dolly’s mother’s mama, sitting up all night, clutching her Bible and praying fervently, “Whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive” (Matthew 21:22 KJV). The next morning, Mrs. Parton’s fever broke. Having survived through the long night, Mama Parton recovered and went on to live until she was 80, seeing and enjoying much of Dolly’s success before passing away in 2003.

In addition to this scare, Dolly had also lost a baby brother, Larry, who died the day after his birth. In their family the older kids helped take care of the younger ones, usually paired up to make sure no one was forgotten. Baby Larry was to have been Dolly’s sibling to help care for, so losing him seemed even more painful and personal. This loss led to her first crisis of faith as she struggled to make sense of it all. It took a little time, but Dolly came to terms with his death, and perhaps death in general, realizing that death is hardest for those of us left behind.

But those early struggles must have paled in comparison to the myriad of losses Dolly experienced as an adult. With so much of her life seemingly in shreds, she couldn’t understand where God was and why he was allowing her to go through so much pain and despair. In her autobiography, she wrote, “I had never felt alone before. I had always had God. I had always thought of him as a friend, my constant fortress, my loving father. I had always heard the voice of God guiding me along my way through life. Now pain and anguish ripped at my heart, fear and anguish clouded my mind. I could not hear him. I wondered if even he had forsaken me. I questioned God. I argued with him.”

With so many huge, existential questions clouding her mind and taunting her heart, Dolly wondered if she would ever have answers—or any peace of mind—again. Death held the appeal of not having to worry about any of it and finally experiencing freedom from all the pain, despair, and heartache in her life. Such thoughts and feelings led Dolly to a moment when she contemplated suicide as a very real option. Sitting upstairs in her bedroom, she remembered the handgun she kept in her nightstand in case of a break-in. Suddenly, she considered ending it all—having something right in front of her that could bring about the permanent end to her suffering.

Later in a dramatic interview in Ladies’ Home Journal (June 1986), Dolly revealed to journalist Cliff Jahr that she actually picked up her gun, held it and stared at it in her hand, when suddenly she heard Popeye, the little dog she and Carl both loved, clattering into the room. “The tap-tap-tap of his paws jolted me back to reality,” she shared. Dolly believes God used Popeye to intervene and break her out of such a terrible mind-set in that moment.

While that incident was certainly a turning point, it didn’t entirely break the grip of her depression. It did remind her, though, that she had always intended to read the Bible straight through from cover to cover. So that’s what she started doing. From Genesis to the Gospels to Revelation, she searched for answers, and through the process of reading God’s Word, Dolly found her lines of divine communication opening once again. The clouds began lifting from her spirit.

She began hearing God again and knew that he was hearing her prayers. Then she began feeling like herself again. She woke up one day and realized “life goes on whether you feel like being a part of it or not.” Dolly’s dark night of the soul had ended, and dawn was breaking once more. Feeling lighter and more inspired than ever before, Dolly experienced a deepening of her faith and a closer walk with God. He had not abandoned her. He was with her the entire time, holding her close.

Dolly had discovered firsthand the truth described by Paul in his letter to the Christians in Rome: “I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love” (Romans 8:38 NLT).

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Adapted from The Faith of Dolly Parton: Lessons from Her Life to Lift Your Heart by Dudley Delffs. Click here to learn more about this title.

Dolly Parton has entertained, educated, and inspired millions of fans for over five decades. Whether she’s writing songs, performing live, recording new albums, acting in or producing new movies and TV programs, expanding her wildly successful Dollywood amusement park, helping children around the world learn to read with her Imagination Library nonprofit, or donating millions of dollars to schools, charities, and people in need, the Queen of Country Music has never been shy about crediting her Christian faith for her success.

“A belief in God is essential,” Dolly shares. “You have to believe in something bigger than yourself. We grew up believing that through God all things are possible.” Growing up in the little mountain church where her grandfather preached, Dolly started singing hymns and playing guitar at services when she was only six. Consequently, she has never been shy about discussing her faith and relationship with God. “People say, ‘Well, I am surprised that you talk about your faith,’ and I say, ‘Why not? That’s who I am. That’s what keeps me going,’” she explains.

Tennessee native, Dolly fanboy, and award-winning writer Dudley Delffs now spotlights ten faith lessons as evidenced in Dolly’s life, music, interviews, and attitude. The Faith of Dolly Parton focuses on the ways Dolly’s life can inspire us all to be more authentic, to trust God during hard times, to stay grounded during the good times, and to always keep our sense of humor. Sometimes poignant, sometimes funny, frequently surprising, and always true to Dolly’s down-home spirit of joyful generosity, this book will delight her millions of fans as well as anyone seeking a fresh faith-filled role model. Learn more at FaithofDollyParton.com.

Dudley J. Delffs, PhD is an award-winning writer of fiction and non-fiction. A former publishing executive with divisions of Random House and HarperCollins, Dudley now works with top-tier authors, agents, and publishers to produce bestselling books with life-changing impact. A lifelong fan of Dolly Parton, Dudley lives in Sewanee, Tennessee with his wife and children.