To Be Married, to Be Single . . .

Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?

2-6 Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.

Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.

8-9 I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.

10-11 And if you are married, stay married. This is the Master’s command, not mine. If a wife should leave her husband, she must either remain single or else come back and make things right with him. And a husband has no right to get rid of his wife.

12-14 For the rest of you who are in mixed marriages—Christian married to non-Christian—we have no explicit command from the Master. So this is what you must do. If you are a man with a wife who is not a believer but who still wants to live with you, hold on to her. If you are a woman with a husband who is not a believer but he wants to live with you, hold on to him. The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be left out; as it is, they also are included in the spiritual purposes of God.

15-16 On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you’ve got to let him or her go. You don’t have to hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can. You never know, wife: The way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you but to God. You never know, husband: The way you handle this might bring your wife not only back to you but to God.

17 And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don’t think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches.

18-19 Were you Jewish at the time God called you? Don’t try to remove the evidence. Were you non-Jewish at the time of your call? Don’t become a Jew. Being Jewish isn’t the point. The really important thing is obeying God’s call, following his commands.

20-22 Stay where you were when God called your name. Were you a slave? Slavery is no roadblock to obeying and believing. I don’t mean you’re stuck and can’t leave. If you have a chance at freedom, go ahead and take it. I’m simply trying to point out that under your new Master you’re going to experience a marvelous freedom you would never have dreamed of. On the other hand, if you were free when Christ called you, you’ll experience a delightful “enslavement to God” you would never have dreamed of.

23-24 All of you, slave and free both, were once held hostage in a sinful society. Then a huge sum was paid out for your ransom. So please don’t, out of old habit, slip back into being or doing what everyone else tells you. Friends, stay where you were called to be. God is there. Hold the high ground with him at your side.

25-28 The Master did not give explicit direction regarding virgins, but as one much experienced in the mercy of the Master and loyal to him all the way, you can trust my counsel. Because of the current pressures on us from all sides, I think it would probably be best to stay just as you are. Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don’t get married. But there’s certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.

29-31 I do want to point out, friends, that time is of the essence. There is no time to waste, so don’t complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple—in marriage, grief, joy, whatever. Even in ordinary things—your daily routines of shopping, and so on. Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is fading away.

32-35 I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.

36-38 If a man has a woman friend to whom he is loyal but never intended to marry, having decided to serve God as a “single,” and then changes his mind, deciding he should marry her, he should go ahead and marry. It’s no sin; it’s not even a “step down” from celibacy, as some say. On the other hand, if a man is comfortable in his decision for a single life in service to God and it’s entirely his own conviction and not imposed on him by others, he ought to stick with it. Marriage is spiritually and morally right and not inferior to singleness in any way, although as I indicated earlier, because of the times we live in, I do have pastoral reasons for encouraging singleness.

39-40 A wife must stay with her husband as long as he lives. If he dies, she is free to marry anyone she chooses. She will, of course, want to marry a believer and have the blessing of the Master. By now you know that I think she’ll be better off staying single. The Master, in my opinion, thinks so, too.

Concerning Married Life

Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”(A) But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife,(B) and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time,(C) so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan(D) will not tempt you(E) because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command.(F) I wish that all of you were as I am.(G) But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.(H)

Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.(I) But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry,(J) for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.(K) 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.(L) And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord):(M) If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.(N)

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.(O) 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save(P) your husband?(Q) Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Concerning Change of Status

17 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them.(R) This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.(S) 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised.(T) 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing.(U) Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.(V)

21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22 For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person;(W) similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave.(X) 23 You were bought at a price;(Y) do not become slaves of human beings. 24 Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.(Z)

Concerning the Unmarried

25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord,(AA) but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy(AB) is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is.(AC) 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife.(AD) 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned;(AE) and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short.(AF) From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.(AG)

32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs(AH)—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.(AI) But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided(AJ) devotion to the Lord.

36 If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong[b] and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning.(AK) They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right,(AL) but he who does not marry her does better.[c]

39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives.(AM) But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.(AN) 40 In my judgment,(AO) she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

Footnotes

  1. 1 Corinthians 7:8 Or widowers
  2. 1 Corinthians 7:36 Or if she is getting beyond the usual age for marriage
  3. 1 Corinthians 7:38 Or 36 If anyone thinks he is not treating his daughter properly, and if she is getting along in years (or if her passions are too strong), and he feels she ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. He should let her get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind to keep the virgin unmarried—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who gives his virgin in marriage does right, but he who does not give her in marriage does better.

Consejos matrimoniales

Paso ahora a los asuntos que me plantearon por escrito: «Es mejor no tener relaciones sexuales».[a] Pero en vista de tanta inmoralidad, cada hombre debe tener su propia esposa y cada mujer su propio esposo. El hombre debe cumplir su deber conyugal con su esposa e igualmente la mujer con su esposo. La mujer ya no tiene derecho sobre su propio cuerpo, sino su esposo. Tampoco el hombre tiene derecho sobre su propio cuerpo, sino su esposa. No se nieguen el uno al otro, a no ser de común acuerdo y solo por un tiempo, para dedicarse a la oración. No tarden en volver a unirse nuevamente; de lo contrario, pueden caer en tentación de Satanás, por falta de dominio propio. Ahora bien, esto lo digo como una concesión y no como una orden. En realidad, preferiría que todos fueran como yo. No obstante, cada uno tiene de Dios su propio don: este posee uno; aquel, otro.

A los solteros y a las viudas les digo que sería mejor que se quedaran como yo. Pero si no pueden dominarse, que se casen, porque es preferible casarse que quemarse de pasión.

10 A los casados doy la siguiente orden (no yo, sino el Señor): que la mujer no se separe de su esposo. 11 Sin embargo, si se separa, que no se vuelva a casar; de lo contrario, que se reconcilie con su esposo. Así mismo, que el hombre no se divorcie de su esposa.

12 A los demás les digo yo (no es mandamiento del Señor): Si algún hermano tiene una esposa que no es creyente y ella consiente en vivir con él, que no se divorcie de ella. 13 Y, si una mujer tiene un esposo que no es creyente y él consiente en vivir con ella, que no se divorcie de él. 14 Porque el esposo no creyente ha sido santificado por la unión con su esposa, y la esposa no creyente ha sido santificada por la unión con su esposo creyente. Si así no fuera, sus hijos serían impuros, mientras que, de hecho, son considerados santos.

15 Sin embargo, si el cónyuge no creyente decide separarse, no se lo impidan. En tales circunstancias, el cónyuge creyente queda sin obligación; Dios nos ha llamado a vivir en paz. 16 ¿Cómo sabes tú, mujer, si acaso salvarás a tu esposo? ¿O cómo sabes tú, hombre, si acaso salvarás a tu esposa?

17 En cualquier caso, cada uno debe vivir conforme a la condición que el Señor le asignó y a la cual Dios lo ha llamado. Esta es la norma que establezco en todas las iglesias. 18 ¿Fue llamado alguno estando ya circuncidado? Que no disimule su condición. ¿Fue llamado alguno sin estar circuncidado? Que no se circuncide. 19 Para nada cuenta estar o no estar circuncidado, lo que importa es cumplir los mandatos de Dios. 20 Que cada uno permanezca en la condición en que estaba cuando Dios lo llamó. 21 ¿Eras esclavo cuando fuiste llamado? No te preocupes, aunque, si tienes la oportunidad de conseguir tu libertad, aprovéchala. 22 Porque el que era esclavo cuando el Señor lo llamó es un liberto del Señor; del mismo modo, el que era libre cuando fue llamado es un esclavo de Cristo. 23 Ustedes fueron comprados por un precio; no se vuelvan esclavos de nadie. 24 Hermanos, cada uno permanezca ante Dios en la condición en que estaba cuando Dios lo llamó.

25 En cuanto a las personas solteras,[b] no tengo ningún mandato del Señor, pero doy mi opinión como quien por la misericordia del Señor es digno de confianza. 26 Pienso que, a causa de la crisis actual, es bueno que cada persona se quede como está. 27 ¿Estás casado? No procures divorciarte. ¿Estás sin esposa? No busques una. 28 Pero si te casas, no pecas; y si una joven[c] se casa, tampoco comete pecado. Sin embargo, los que se casan tendrán que pasar por muchos aprietos[d] y yo quiero evitárselos.

29 Lo que quiero decir, hermanos, es que nos queda poco tiempo. De aquí en adelante los que tienen esposa deben vivir como si no la tuvieran; 30 los que lloran, como si no lloraran; los que se alegran, como si no se alegraran; los que compran algo, como si no lo poseyeran; 31 los que disfrutan de las cosas de este mundo, como si no disfrutaran de ellas; porque este mundo, en su forma actual, está por desaparecer.

32 Yo preferiría que estuvieran libres de preocupaciones. El soltero se preocupa de las cosas del Señor y de cómo agradarlo. 33 Pero el casado se preocupa de las cosas de este mundo y de cómo agradar a su esposa; 34 sus intereses están divididos. La mujer no casada, lo mismo que la joven soltera,[e] se preocupa de las cosas del Señor; se afana por consagrarse al Señor tanto en cuerpo como en espíritu. Pero la casada se preocupa de las cosas de este mundo y de cómo agradar a su esposo. 35 Les digo esto por su propio bien, no para ponerles restricciones, sino para que vivan con decoro y plenamente dedicados al Señor.

36 Si alguno piensa que no está tratando a su prometida[f] como es debido y ella ha llegado ya a su madurez, por lo cual él se siente obligado a casarse, que lo haga. Con eso no peca; que se casen. 37 Pero el que se mantiene firme en su propósito y no está dominado por sus impulsos, sino que domina su propia voluntad y ha resuelto no casarse con su prometida, también hace bien. 38 De modo que el que se casa con su prometida hace bien, pero el que no se casa hace mejor.[g]

39 La mujer está ligada a su esposo mientras él vive; pero si el esposo muere, ella queda libre para casarse con quien quiera, con tal de que sea en el Señor. 40 En mi opinión, ella será más feliz si no se casa y creo que yo también tengo el Espíritu de Dios.

Footnotes

  1. 7:1 «Es … sexuales». Lit. Es bueno para el hombre no tocar mujer.
  2. 7:25 personas solteras. Lit. vírgenes.
  3. 7:28 joven. Lit. virgen.
  4. 7:28 tendrán … aprietos. Lit. tendrán aflicción en la carne.
  5. 7:34 La mujer … soltera. Lit. La mujer no casada y la virgen.
  6. 7:36 prometida. Lit. virgen; también en vv. 37 y 38.
  7. 7:36-38 Si alguno … mejor. Alt. 36 Si alguno piensa que no está tratando a su hija como es debido y ella ha llegado a su madurez, por lo cual él se siente obligado a darla en matrimonio, que lo haga. Con eso no peca, que la dé en matrimonio. 37 Pero el que se mantiene firme en su propósito y no está dominado por sus impulsos, sino que domina su propia voluntad y ha resuelto mantener soltera a su hija, también hace bien. 38 De modo que el que da a su hija en matrimonio hace bien, pero el que no la da en matrimonio hace mejor.