How to Ruin Your Child in 7 Easy Steps

Laziness and Disappointment

Read Psalm 42.

When we give up on our faith in God’s calling and purpose for our lives, we lose the motivation to act. We don’t believe we are capable of greatness, so we fear trying. At that point there’s little difference between those who sleep their days away, accomplishing nothing, and those who fill their days with busyness, buzzing from one activity to another and appearing to have all sorts of energy but, in actuality, going nowhere. It’s the class clown who could have been the class president but, because of the risk involved in sharing a sincere belief instead of a sarcastic comment, found it easier to make others laugh than to motivate people. It’s the dropout who put no effort into school, even though he’s brilliant, because he couldn’t handle the pain of rejection when someone called him a nerd.

When a painful experience causes my child to numb himself with sloth, it’s not enough for me to simply tell him to stop being lazy. I must help him remember his purpose and renew his hope. Purpose comes from knowing that God has a plan for my life that is worth working hard to achieve. Hope comes from knowing that God is always with me in the journey and will fulfill His promise in the end, even though I may suffer disappointments along the way. The key is having the right kind of conversation with myself and then joyfully trying to motivate my child.

Psalm 42 provides an example of such self-talk. The psalmist is seeking encouragement during a time of sadness in which he feels disappointment and distant from God.

Here’s where the Psalmist lands, “Life won’t always be this bad, things will get better, there is hope.” Importantly, this hope is not just wishful thinking, it is a hope that is grounded in God. Those whose hope is only in their own efforts will give up when those efforts fall short. Those whose hope is in God keep working even after they fall short, because they know that God is also working and He is faithful to complete the work He has begun. As Paul wrote, “Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”

*Do you believe God has a plan for your life, which is worth working for?