Jesus had a lot to say about families. But what was his own family life like? And what was family life like more generally during New Testament times?

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In this video, Dr. Mark Strauss explains what family life was like:

Respecting parents

One of the main things to know is that in New Testament times families were patriarchal. That is, the father had the highest authority. This was true of both Greco-Roman and Jewish families.

Families usually lived together in extended family units. These units included parents, children, grandparents, and often even aunts and uncles.

Parents were treated with esteem and honor. This is because of the fifth commandment to “honor your father and mother” (Exod. 20:12).

Shaming a parent was viewed as despicable—such as when the Prodigal Son asked for his inheritance early. He is essentially saying to his father, “I wish you were dead” (Luke 15:12). In fact, the Old Testament even mandated stoning a rebellious son (Deut. 21:18–21).

What were weddings like?

Marriages were arranged by parents and were almost always within the same socioeconomic class. In Judaism, a girl would normally be betrothed early. She would marry between the ages of 12 and 16. It was a major social stigma for a woman to reach 20 unmarried.

Men were commonly married between 18 and 20. Engagements lasted for a year or so and were officially contracted. This means ending an engagement required a “divorce” to break the contract. This is why Matthew 1:19–20 tells us that Joseph decides to divorce Mary quietly so as not to publicly shame her. He suspected she had been unfaithful during the engagement. This was a serious offense, according to Deuteronomy 22:23–24.

Weddings were the most important social events in Jewish society. They often involved the entire village. The ceremony began with the groom going to the home of the bride’s parents to bring her to his father’s home. Friends and townspeople would accompany him on the way, singing and rejoicing (see the parable of the ten virgins in Matt. 25:1–13).

The groom would bring the bride—veiled and adorned in lavish wedding clothes—and her attendants to the wedding banquet. Festivities would last a week or more and would be marked by feasting, dancing, and celebration. For food or wine to run out during such an event—as happened in John 2:3—would bring shame to both families.

While polygamy existed, it was rare both in Jewish and Greco-Roman society. Monogamy was the norm.

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Divorce in New Testament times

Divorce was common in the Greco-Roman world. Under first-century Roman law, either the man or the woman could initiate divorce. In Judaism, only men could initiate divorce, except in extreme circumstances where women were allowed to.

The Old Testament recognized the reality of divorce, even if it did not sanction it, and guidelines were given to protect both parties (Deut. 24:1–4).

The rabbis debated the legitimate grounds for divorce. The conservative school of Shammai allowed a man to divorce his wife only for unfaithfulness. The more liberal school of Hillel accepted almost any reason, including ruining a meal.

Even though it was easy to divorce in first-century Judaism, Jesus reacted strongly against this. In Mark 10:11–12, Matthew 5:32, and Matthew 19:9 Jesus speaks to the inviolable nature of marriage.

Slavery in the New Testament

Slavery was common in the Roman Empire, and slaves made up as much as a third of the population. Slaves were considered part of the household, under the authority of the paterfamilias, the male head of the family.

Though it was somewhat less common, Jews and Christians also kept slaves. Both the Old and New Testaments provided guidelines for their behavior and treatment (Leviticus 25; Deut. 23:15–16; Eph. 6:5–9; Col. 3:22–4:1; 1 Peter 2:18). The New Testament, however, provides evidence that slavery is contrary to God’s will and that the new age begun in Christ should result in its abolition (1 Cor. 7:21; Gal. 3:28; Eph. 6:9; 1 Tim. 1:10; Rev. 18:13).

Unlike in America, Greco-Roman slavery had nothing to do with race. People became slaves in a variety of ways, most commonly as prisoners of war. Sometimes people would even sell themselves into slavery because of extreme poverty. The Old Testament called for the freeing of indentured slaves after six years (Exod. 21:2; Deut. 15:12–18).

Slaves held a wide range of social positions. The lowest form of slavery was in mines or galley ships, where life was brutal and short. Runaway slaves were often branded or executed. At the opposite end of the spectrum were slaves who held high positions of authority. Some were managers over wealthy households. These slaves could own property, conduct business, and purchase their own freedom.

Despite these widely divergent statuses, slaves were still considered property and functioned at the whim of their owners.

Learn more about what life was like during the New Testament. Sign up for the Cultural Context of Jesus’ Life and Ministry online course.

This post is adapted from the Four Portraits, One Jesus online course, taught by Mark Strauss. Take a look at the FREE introductory video from Dr. Strauss:

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