Nicki Koziarz (@NickiKoziarz) is a woman who has thrown in the towel a time or two. In fact, she’s quit just about everything in her life. But with God’s help, she’s discovered a few habits that have helped her and others conquer the choice to quit. In her book, 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit (B&H Books, 2016) (book website), she explains how to evaluate the internal personal struggles that make you want to quit, cultivate consistent habits to help you progress toward your goals and receive a fresh dose of perspective from the Bible that will help you develop perseverance.
The following article is excerpted from 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit (B&H Books, 2016) by Nicki Koziarz.
The Last Straw
We were driving down the road when our realtor called. It was the sixth time we had tentatively scheduled the closing for the Fixer Upper Farm. And of course, there was a problem and our closing was rescheduled again. I threw the phone down and said to my husband who was seated next to me, “This is NEVER going to happen. We just need to give this thing up. That’s it! I can’t take it anymore.”
And wouldn’t you know, there was this little eight-year-old girl sitting behind me who piped up her little voice and said, “Nuh uh Momma. Thoughts become words. Words become actions. Actions become reality. Don’t you speak that over our farm!”
My husband smiled and nodded his head. I was eating my own words. This season of learning to wait, to trust God and to believe was starting to mess with my thought process. It was refinement mixed with stress, anxiety and fear. A quitting formula for sure.
It required a transition in my thinking, my prayers, and my belief. I had to make this shift while not knowing the end of the story.
I know this whole buying a farm-drama-thing may sound incredibly juvenile in comparison with the “real” problems of this world, but trust me when I say the Lord used it to work in my life. I assure you there will be all kinds of seasons of refinement as we work to become women God and others can count on. Later you’ll hear more about the seasons of refinement I’ve gone through that were no laughing matter.
Some seasons of refinement will cause us to look back and laugh. Others may continue to produce an ache felt deep in our spirit for many years to come.
Maybe one day Ruth got to a place where she was able to look back on a few places of this horrible tragedy and smile about the refining process. But where we are meeting her right now, there’s nothing funny.
Her thoughts could have easily become clouded. But she seems to have so much clarity in her decision to stay. There’s not a hint of hesitancy to flee. It makes me think her desperation was creating a dependence upon God.
Thoughts are powerful when we are walking through refinement assignments. While we will never be able to control all the events that happen or hard situations we find ourselves wandering through, we have control over our thoughts.
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.
–Proverbs 23:7a (NKJV)
For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways.” This is the LORD’s declaration.”
–Isaiah 55:8 (HCSB)
Understanding how the Lord views us is foundational to viewing these seasons of refinement as assignments from God. There’s something He wants to shift in us, teach us and fulfill through us. As shown in Isaiah, we are different from God in both our natural thoughts and actions. In order for the shift to take place, we must spend time learning His thoughts and His ways. We have to allow Him (and His Word) into those deep places, our thoughts. The places where no one goes but Him.
Our thoughts become the words we speak. The words we speak become the actions we take. The actions we take determine our steps toward the future.
God is not a puppet master controlling our every move. The decision to stay with Him through our thoughts, words and actions will always be ours.
The above article is excerpted from 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit (B&H Books, 2016). Copyright © 2016 by Nicki Koziarz. Used by permission of B&H Books. www.bhpublishinggroup.com. Pages 34-36. All rights reserved.
Bio: Nicki Koziarz is an author and speaker with Proverbs 31 Ministries. Each week she helps lead thousands of women through P31 Online Bible Studies. She and her husband, Kris, own a fixer upper farm just outside Charlotte, North Carolina. There they are raising their three beautiful [but hormonal] daughters, a barnyard of misfit animals, and one slightly famous pug. After a broken experience in the church, Nicki is consumed with learning to lead her generation on the pursuit of truth and love.