We all know the irreplaceable value of a good friend. So did Jesus and his disciples. Jesus calls many people “friend” in the New Testament (including the soldier who arrests him and brings him before Pilate; see Matthew 26:50). And Paul and other early Christians referred to one another as “dear friends” or even “beloved.”
But what does the Bible say about what sort of person makes a good friend — or a bad one, for that matter? Even more importantly, what does the Bible say about how to be a good friend to others?
There are three main places to look for the answers to these questions in Scripture: the wisdom books (especially Job, Psalms, and Proverbs), the Gospels (especially Luke and John), and the “catholic” or general epistles (especially James and 1 John).
For those who are Catholic or Orthodox, there’s also a book dedicated in part to these very questions in the Apocrypha: Sirach.
If you’re looking for guidance on how to be a friend, choose a friend, or simply thank a friend for being there, here are a list of Bible verses to get you started. (We have provided them in a variety of different Bible translations; click on each verse reference to open it in your own favorite version.)
How to Choose Your Friends
The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
— Proverbs 12:26 (NIV)
Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.
— Proverbs 18:24 (MSG)
Make no friends with those given to anger, and do not associate with hotheads, lest you learn their ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
— Proverbs 22:24-25 (NRSVue)
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.
— Proverbs 27:6 (NASB)
How to Be a Good Friend
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
— 1 John 4:7 (NIV)
A friend loves at all times, and a relative is born to help in adversity.
— Proverbs 17:17 (NET)
Suppose someone tells lies about their friends to get a reward. Then their own children will suffer for it.
— Job 17:5 (NIrV)
He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.
— Job 6:14 (ESV)
Surely now my witness stands in heaven;
my advocate is on high;
my go-between, my friend.
While my eyes drip tears to God,
let him plead with God for a human being,
like a person pleads for a friend.
— Job 16:20-21 (CEB)
Who Is God’s Friend?
This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.
— John 15:12-14 (NLT)
Then He also said to him who invited Him, “When you give a dinner or a supper, do not ask your friends, your brothers, your relatives, nor rich neighbors, lest they also invite you back, and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you; for you shall be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”
— Luke 14:12-14 (NKJV)
When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”
— Luke 5:20 (CEB)
Thus the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called “the friend of God.”
— James 2:23 (NABRE)
You adulterous people! Don’t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So whoever wants to be the friend of the world becomes the enemy of God.
— James 4:4 (CSB)
I am a friend of all who serve you,
of all who obey your laws.
Lord, the earth is full of your constant love;
teach me your commandments.
— Psalm 119:63-64 (GNT)
The Book of Sirach
Sirach is one of the books of the Apocrypha, which means it is not part of most Protestant or Jewish Bibles. The Apocrypha (or Deuterocanonical books) are a group of books mostly written in Greek in the last century or two before the birth of Jesus — unlike the Hebrew Old Testament, which was written around 500-2000 years before Jesus. However, for some complicated historical reasons, these books are included in Catholic and Orthodox Bibles, and sometimes in Anglican and Lutheran ones as well.
In other words, if you’re a Protestant — whether evangelical, nondenominational, mainline, Pentecostal, etc. — you would probably not consider Sirach to be sacred scripture. If you’re Catholic or Orthodox, you would.
Whether or not it is divinely inspired, Sirach does have a ton of advice about friendship, especially in chapter 6, but also in parts of chapters 22, 27, 37, and more. Here are a few examples:
A loyal friend is like a safe shelter; find one, and you have found a treasure. Nothing else is as valuable; there is no way of putting a price on it.
— Sirach 6:14-15 (GNT)
One who throws a stone at birds scares them away,
and one who reviles a friend destroys a friendship.
Even if you draw your sword against a friend,
do not despair, for there is a way back.
— Sirach 22:20-21 (NRSVCE)
Spend your money on your brother or your friend; do not hide it under a stone where it will rust away.
— Sirach 29:10 (NCB)
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