The question “how do I pray?” has been searched millions of times on Google, but the first time we see it recorded in our human history is in Luke 11. As Jesus finished his prayer time, one of the disciples approached with this question:
“Lord, teach us to pray.”
It’s a question we’re still asking today, especially if it seems like nothing happens when we pray or we’re hearing conflicting teachings on what prayer should sound like. Others fear their lack of prayer skills will keep God from listening or helping us. The good news is, your prayers don’t change God’s love or faithfulness. But your prayers can change you.
Jesus teaches us a framework, not a formula, for effective prayer.
He wants your prayers to transform your life and for God to use your prayers to make a lasting and eternal impact on our world. One of the clues indicating that you’re using prayer like a formula is that you use prayer like God is your vending machine. Or you resort to calling on God when your life is on fire and God is your emergency fire extinguisher. One other clue is if you treat prayer like a monologue where you talk to God and tell Him what you want, but you don’t develop the skills to hear Him.
Ultimately, the point of prayer isn’t for us to change God’s mind but rather to be willing for God to change us.
Here are four principles we can draw from Jesus’s teaching on prayer in Matthew 6:9-13 and Luke 11:2-4. We’ll use Matthew’s version for our time together.
Begin Prayer with a God-Centric, Not Problem-Centric Approach
This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, — Matthew 6:9 (NIV)
Jesus teaches us to begin prayer by remembering our relationship with God, our Father. The original Greek uses the Aramaic word Abba, which means a personal, trusting relationship, not cold or distant. We tend to begin our prayers by telling God our problems, but that’s like starting a conversation with a friend by handing them a to-do list instead of greeting them first.
When we approach God as Abba, we release our stress and anxiety by stepping into His presence. God is safe. In prayer, heaven meets earth, and we step into God’s protective space. We’re reminded and reassured He is bigger than our biggest challenges or anxieties. This is why people often say they feel better after praying.
As we open our prayers centered on God, we reconnect with the confidence that whatever the outcome of our prayer, we can trust in God’s goodness, love, power, and presence.
If you tend to pray problem-first instead of God-first, here’s a helpful tool I developed called a “God-Centering Exercise.” It has four parts:
- God Is: Remembering God’s character, goodness, and love.
- God Has: Replaying God’s faithfulness in my life and others’ lives.
- God Can: Reflecting on God’s power.
- God Will: Reminding myself of God’s promises for my life and eternity.
Prayer Refreshes Our Heavenly Perspective
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
— Matthew 6:10 (NIV)
Our world gives us a near-sighted perspective. We react to what’s in front of us. But without prayer, we lose sight of God’s eternal perspective.
Prayer gives us God’s spiritual vision and fixes our earthly nearsightedness so we’re able to see beyond the chaos and live out the gospel and God’s purpose for our lives.
Prayer Nurtures Humility
Give us today our daily bread. — Matthew 6:11 (NIV)
The phrase “daily bread” is connected to how God provided daily food for the Israelites during their 40 years in the wilderness (Exodus 16:4). They had no means or agency to provide for their needs. God gave them literal daily bread for their survival.
Jesus teaches us to tell God what we need. One of the etymological roots of prayer is “to beg.” There are health crises we can’t fix, relationship problems we can’t heal, financial insecurities we can’t change, and dreams we can’t achieve without God.
Not only that but notice how Jesus instructs us to pray using plural words like “us” and “our.” Jesus didn’t teach individual prayer. He taught us to pray as a community and for each other. It means that each body of Christ needs to check in with the different parts of the body and respond if there are needs, not ignore them. It’s not effective prayer if we’re not praying for others on a regular basis. God cares about everyone.
More on humility in Jesus’s next teaching point:
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
— Matthew 6:12 (NIV)
For decades, medical professionals, including mental health experts, have known the importance of forgiveness on our physical and psychological health. King David writes about how his unconfessed sin weakened him but confession healed him (Psalm 32:3-5). God’s desire is for us to live free from guilt or shame, especially since those are easy tools for Satan to use to tempt us to lose faith in God’s love for us.
On the flip side, forgiving others is just as important. When we hold onto resentment or bitterness, we hurt ourselves. Yet, Jesus teaches forgiveness must be a regular part of our prayers because we’re humbly reminded that God has forgiven us of far more than we could ever forgive of anyone else (Matthew 6:14-15).
Prayer Keeps Our Spiritual Warfare Toolbox Close at Hand
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’
— Matthew 6:13 (NIV)
In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus told Peter and the disciples to stay awake and pray. Peter fell asleep and didn’t take time to pray as Jesus requested. Later, Peter succumbed to the temptation to anger by slashing off the ear of Malchus, a servant (John 18:10-11). He also denied Jesus three times and was devastated.
Jesus knew spiritual warfare was cloaked from our earthly eyes until Satan saw an opportunity. We can stay prepared for spiritual opposition when we’re praying. As we pray, we’re more likely to keep other spiritual weapons like reading our Bibles, staying in the Christian community, and obeying God sharp and ready for battle.
Conclusion: Pray Like Jesus and Be Transformed by Him
Jesus taught us to pray so we can experience God’s life-transforming love and power. This framework is for everyone!
I love Corrie ten Boom’s well-known words: “Make prayer your steering wheel, not your spare tire.” Your next step is to apply Jesus’s teaching principles in your prayer life today and experience the transformative power of prayer.
When you pray like Jesus, you will learn more about God’s character and His eternal plan and purpose for you. In Matthew: Pray Like This, Bible teacher Barb Roose guides you on a six-week Bible study of the Gospel of Matthew, taking a deep dive into Jesus’s prayer patterns.
Along the way you’ll learn that prayer is the place where God meets you with His heart set on conversation and time spent with you.
Barb Roose is an author, speaker at national women’s conferences, and a regular contributor to (in)courage, Crosswalk, and iBelieve. Since 2005, Barb has been speaking at women’s events in the U.S. and abroad, including national platforms like the Aspire Women’s Events and She Speaks Conference. She has written seven Bible studies and four books and is the host of The Bold, Brave & Beautiful podcast.
