In the New Testament the Gospels record the story of a woman with an “issue of blood” (Luke 8:43–48 KJV). Scholars believe she had a hemorrhage, and what that meant for this woman was isolation. According to Jewish law, she would have been considered “unclean,” and, furthermore, anyone who came in contact with her would have become unclean as well. Scripture tells us she had been bleeding for twelve years.
One day Jesus passed near her in a crowd, and if you know the story, you know that she reached out and touched Jesus and was immediately healed.
What happened next is easy to miss because it seems like the miracle should get the most attention, right? But Jesus made a point of stopping when everyone else would have kept on walking through the crowded street, and he asked, “Who touched me?” (Luke 8:45).
You can almost hear his disciples’ tone when they referred to the bustling crowds pressing in on all sides, but Jesus insisted. Jesus stopped.
Who touched me?
The Courage to Confess
This woman now had a choice — she’d already gotten her miracle.
She could walk away healed.
But instead, she confessed.
This woman did the unthinkable — she touched Jesus in an unclean state and now, likely for the first time in twelve years, she was in the middle of an enormous crowd of people . . . and she confessed.
Don’t miss what Jesus told her: “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease” (Mark 5:34 ESV).
Confession, and honest and open communication, earned her the title of “daughter.” She was seen in that moment — vulnerable and known. Instead of being condemned, she was praised. Instead of receiving judgment, she received freedom, but it took the courage to confess.
Being seen can be scary, but it’s the only way to be known. Until we are willing to be honest in relationships, especially with God and with our spouse, we can’t expect to be seen. We can’t expect to be fully known.
What Does It Have to Do With Me?
You might be thinking, How does this relate to me? Some random, unnamed woman in Scripture who was healed of a physical, internal, uncommon hemorrhage — what does that have to do with my story? Maybe you’re a man and you’re thinking, She’s not even married. How does this connect to me?
The answer, frankly, is everything.
Let’s put it like this: in war zones, injuries from shrapnel are common. These shards of metal can be flung from a bomb or a land mine, and unfortunately most victims are innocent civilians.
What you may not realize is that the actual injury, the torn flesh or damage from this debris, is not usually the cause of death. The most common way that shrapnel kills is sepsis — an infection that manifests only later, after the shard has lingered in the body. It won’t be a visible bleeding or a wound that is clearly identified — it’s an internal injury that grows when left untreated.
We all have wounds. We all have caught some metaphorical shrapnel in our lifetime that left us internally scarred. It may not be obvious to everyone, but I’m willing to bet your wound is bleeding into other areas of your life. Maybe it manifests as anger in your home, or a deafening silence where there used to be open communication.
We all have issues, things that, as in the case of the woman with the issue of blood, we are ashamed of. Things that we hide from others, but those things don’t go away just because we aren’t willing to deal with them.
What Is Your Shrapnel?
I want you to pause here.
Consider what your shrapnel may be.
What caused the invisible wound you so carefully conceal?
Consider why you might be stuffing the pain rather than speaking it.
Consider that if you’re hiding something, you may be hurting someone.
Maybe you’ve been told that you just need to have more faith — that you’re the reason you’re suffering. I’ve heard that one a time or two! And the woman in this story was probably told the same thing. She was probably also told that her disease was a result of sin: as punishment for her own or the result of someone else’s wrongdoing. Sound familiar? Sometimes we let others diagnose us, and it leads us down a path of pain managing rather than healing. The person we let diagnose us may have caused the injury in the first place.
Now, I’m not saying that we never deal with consequences that are of our own making — I’ve certainly done my share of wrong! But whatever the cause of the wound, hiding it only allows the sepsis to take hold. And, my friend, that kind of infection doesn’t just kill your marriage — it can take you out altogether.
The Transformative Power of Confession
So how do we treat these invisible injuries? In a word: confession.
Jesus made a point of asking “Who touched me?” not because he didn’t know but because he wanted to diagnose her. You see, up until this point, she had been known only by her issue. She’s literally known throughout the Gospels only as “the woman with the issue of blood.”
But this was not how Jesus referred to her.
No one in that crowd knew her as anything other than her disease. They didn’t know her as “daughter.” Her affliction had interfered with every relationship in her life — isolating her to the point that no one even saw her that day. Only Jesus, and only when she confessed.
That day her trauma became her testimony. That day, through having the courage to confess, she laid claim to a new identity. Her identity had already changed — she was healed. But she had to claim it in order to be known. Known as “daughter.”
This is how love works: something must die for God’s love to live. In this case it was her old identity. For some, it might be an expectation that needs to die, or a want that you keep placing over the needs of your spouse.
Claim Your Testimony
Loving everything that’s different about your spouse is a different kind of love — we have to be willing to let the old version of love die in order to claim the kind of love God demonstrates!
Friend, I want you to know that you are a child of God. God loves you too much to leave you wounded. But you have to receive your new identity, and the only way to do so is to come out of hiding — out of isolation. We can’t self-diagnose this — we can’t WebMD our symptoms and fix ourselves.
Scripture tells us the woman in our story spent everything she had and that she was still in tremendous pain.
God wants so much more for you!
If it’s not good, God is not done.
But you have to be willing to claim the testimony on the other side of your trauma.
Adapted from Two Equals One by Irene Rollins and Jimmy Rollins.
Uncover the secrets to a thriving marriage. Focusing on reconciling differences and forging true intimacy, Two Equals One emphasizes the crucial roles of communication, understanding, and concerted team effort.
Two Equals One presents the case to stay rather than leave. To lean in rather than let go. To give you a framework and path to discover a marriage equation of love, laughter, and longevity. From tackling tough topics such as addiction and resentment to addressing the impact of neglecting spousal roles, Two Equals One is a comprehensive guide to strengthening and salvaging relationships, while offering practical challenges, prayers, and resources to actively engage couples.
Two Equals One is published by HarperCollins Christian Publishing, Inc., the parent company of Bible Gateway.
Jimmy and Irene Rollinsare the founders of TWO=ONE, a ministry dedicated to building healthy marriages that foster strong families and impactful communities. After almost 25 years of ministry, including 10 years as Senior Pastors of the thriving i5 City church,they shifted their focus to helping others cultivate love and longevity in their relationships. Having overcome personal challenges such as addiction and family dysfunction in their 23 years of marriage, Jimmy and Irene now inspire countless individuals globally as dynamic public speakers, authors, and marriage coaches.
