Saul replied, “But I’m only from the tribe of Benjamin, the smallest tribe in Israel, and my family is the least important of all the families of that tribe! Why are you talking like this to me?”
(1 Samuel 9:21)
Surely, if anyone had reason for confidence, Saul did. His father was wealthy and influential, and Saul himself had a commanding stature. By these measures, Saul was bound to be a great king. Yet he claimed his own family was “the least important of all the families” of Benjamin and protested “Why are you talking like this to me?”
Saul would repeatedly struggle with this sense of inferiority and insecurity. Throughout his reign, Saul would be obsessed with his fears and his image. Everything he said and did was selfish because he was worried about managing them.
Although God had called Saul and Saul had a mission in life, he struggled constantly with jealousy, insecurity, arrogance, impulsiveness, and deceit. He failed to realize that God does not measure men by their wealth, influence, or good looks, but by their hearts (1 Samuel 16:7). He didn’t believe that God “lifts the poor from the dust” and “sets them among princes” (1 Samuel 2:8). Saul recognized his own poverty but refused to rest in God’s favor, so he constantly tried to prove himself.
How are you trying to prove your worth? Whose standards are you using? How can you rest in God’s favor?
You need to thank God for the honors he has given you, and not look at your deficiencies. Thank him for making you a member of his kingdom.