{"id":60262,"date":"2021-03-03T08:45:36","date_gmt":"2021-03-03T13:45:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/blog\/?p=60262"},"modified":"2021-03-03T10:15:47","modified_gmt":"2021-03-03T15:15:47","slug":"whack-a-mole-parenting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/blog\/2021\/03\/whack-a-mole-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"Whack-a-Mole Parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"JodieBy Jodie Berndt<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cIf you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.\u201d<\/em> \u2014John 15:7<\/a><\/p>\n

When I was working on the original edition of Praying the Scriptures for Your Teens<\/em><\/a>, the folks at Zondervan let me know they were meeting to discuss the cover design. \u201cDo you,\u201d they asked, \u201chave any specific ideas or input to contribute?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d I said, \u201cif you were to poll my friends who are raising teens right now, they\u2019d probably tell you to just go ahead and make the cover black.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBlack?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but you could put a ray of light cutting across the darkness to symbolize God\u2019s intervention in our desperate lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I was kidding\u2014sort of. Ty Saltzgiver, who spent more than 40 years hanging out with adolescents in his work with Young Life, taught me that you are never \u201cjust kidding.\u201d There\u2019s always a kernel of truth in there somewhere. And in this case, Ty was right: My friends and I knew that God loved our kids and that he was at work in their lives, but there were plenty of days when our hearts just felt … dark. Our spirits were heavy. The list of what-ifs and worries\u2014safety on the road, substance abuse, eating disorders, anxiety, sexual purity, spiritual doubt\u2014seemed limitless. No sooner would we finish praying about one thing than another would, like a crazed whack-a-mole, pop its head out of the hole.<\/p>\n

Robbie and I had four kids in six years (which translated, I think, to four teens over 13 consecutive years), and during the time it took to write and publish Praying the Scriptures for Your Teens<\/em><\/a>, we prayed our way through almost every topic you\u2019ll find in it. I even found myself wondering whether God\u2014in that Godlike way of his\u2014allowed some specific challenges to manifest themselves in our family just to remove any lingering threads of self-sufficiency, pride, or judgmental attitudes I might have tried to hang on to had I not found myself in the parenting gutter so many times.<\/p>\n

Case in point: As I was working on the chapter about praying for our teens\u2019 attire and thinking about the importance of modesty, God reminded me of the time that our daughter and two of her friends went to a rock concert dressed\u2014unbeknownst to us\u2014in skimpy shirts they had made themselves. Lest you think I should have been proud of a teen who could sew, I\u2019ll just go ahead and tell you that the girls used staples, not thread. And the shimmery gold fabric they thought looked so fetching? They had ransacked it from a neighbor\u2019s nativity set.<\/p>\n

Wrong, on so many levels.<\/p>\n

[Read the Bible Gateway Blog post, How and Why to Pray the Scriptures for Your Children: An Interview with Jodie Berndt<\/em><\/a>]<\/p>\n

Our kids\u2019 fashion choices are but one of an untold number of things we may find ourselves praying about. There are other topics\u2014so many topics\u2014that you won\u2019t find in the book\u2019s table of contents, not because I didn\u2019t think they were important or because we didn\u2019t walk down those roads, but simply because\u2014to borrow an explanation from the apostle John as he wrote about the mighty works Jesus did\u2014\u201cIf every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.<\/a>\u201d Academic struggles, sibling relationships, teen pregnancy, parental divorce, the loss of a loved one … if you find yourself\u2014if you find your teen\u2014coming up against one of these challenging places, know this: There is no need we will face that God has not already thought of, and provided for, in his Word. He understands. He\u2019s been there. He is there with you still. And he invites you\u2014he invites us\u2014to anchor our trust in his promises.<\/p>\n

If you read Praying the Scriptures for Your Children<\/em><\/a>\u2014better yet, if you prayed your way through that book\u2014you know that God\u2019s Word is powerful and effective. You know that it does not return empty<\/a> but always accomplishes God\u2019s purposes and desires. And perhaps more than anything else, you know that it holds the key to endurance and hope.<\/p>\n

Which, in a nutshell, is what Praying the Scriptures for Your Teens<\/em><\/a> is all about.<\/p>\n

As a mom, I\u2019ve always considered prayer to be a vital part of my job description (as someone once said, \u201cIf you\u2019re not praying for your child, who is?\u201d), but when I began using Scripture as the basis for my prayers\u2014taking the actual words in the Bible and using them to shape my requests\u2014I found that prayer became less of a \u201cduty\u201d and more of an adventure. When I read my Bible, I would discover phrases and promises that I could pray over my kids. My conversations with God began to take on a whole new dimension. Gone were the repetitive and sometimes\u2014dare I say it?\u2014boring petitions for generic blessings and protection; my prayers became interesting and creative and infused with a fresh kind of power. I shouldn\u2019t have been surprised\u2014God\u2019s word is, after all, active and alive\u2014but I wasn\u2019t prepared for the depth of connection that came with speaking to God in the language he first spoke to me, nor could I have anticipated the fulfillment, joy, and confidence that came with tapping into words that had been conceived and shaped in God\u2019s heart!<\/p>\n

My desire in writing Praying the Scriptures for Your Teens<\/em><\/a> is to give you that same sense of connection, fulfillment, and joy. I want you to pray with confidence, knowing that when you come before God, you will receive mercy and find grace<\/a> for your every need\u2014for your teen\u2019s<\/em> every need.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe true purpose in prayer,\u201d wrote R. A. Torrey, \u201cis that God may be glorified in the answer.\u201d I believe that\u2014but I also know how easy it can be for contemporary parents (well, this<\/em> parent at least) to glorify or idolize our children. Not overtly, of course, but when we center our thoughts on our kids\u2014either because they have made us so proud<\/em> or because they have made us so anxious<\/em>\u2014we inadvertently elbow God out of the picture.<\/p>\n

So let\u2019s not. Let\u2019s release our teens to God and pray with thanksgiving\u2014no matter what the present circumstances are or the future what-ifs might look like\u2014knowing that God has everything under control. Let\u2019s pray with a heart that desires, above anything else, to bring honor and glory to God.<\/p>\n

Will there be times when our hearts feel dark and our spirits are heavy? Of course. But from where I sit now, praying four all-grown-up children through the whack-a-mole issues in their young adult lives, I will tell you that I am glad the original edition of this book was not covered in black. And I\u2019m even more glad, as I look back over my kids\u2019 teen years and see the fingerprints of God\u2019s faithfulness, that the new cover looks like it does. To me, it speaks of hope, light, and the power of God\u2019s Word to open doors in our teens\u2019 lives.<\/p>\n