{"id":52213,"date":"2020-02-03T04:50:00","date_gmt":"2020-02-03T09:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/blog\/?p=52213"},"modified":"2020-02-13T11:53:36","modified_gmt":"2020-02-13T16:53:36","slug":"why-god-commands-us-to-forgive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/blog\/2020\/02\/why-god-commands-us-to-forgive\/","title":{"rendered":"Why God Commands Us to Forgive"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Cynthia<\/a>By Cynthia Heald<\/strong><\/p>\n

My young friend Amy came to my home to share with me a deep hurt that she had been struggling with for years. The burden she carried had come from her father\u2019s abuse. She had read several books, sought good counsel, and when she came to talk with me, I think she was finally ready to accept Jesus\u2019 teaching about forgiveness.<\/p>\n

Her questions were normal. She said, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t seem fair for me to let my father off the hook. He should be made to suffer for what he did to me. Everyone thinks he is such a good Christian man\u2014if only they knew what he is really like.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I listened and agreed with her that to respond by releasing and forgiving her father seemed to go against our sense of how to right a wrong. Although I could not begin to identify with her pain, I could understand her struggle over freeing herself from her father. I shared my experience of clearly hearing the Lord\u2019s prompting to release my dad, to accept him as he was, and to forgive him. I told Amy that forgiving my father was the best decision not only for me but also for him.<\/p>\n

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\"Buy<\/a><\/p>\n

Amy and I read together a verse in Romans: \u201cDear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, \u2018I<\/em> will take revenge; I<\/em> will pay them back,\u2019 says the Lord\u201d (Romans 12:19; emphasis added<\/a>).<\/p>\n

I explained to her, \u201cGod wants to free us from ever having to vindicate ourselves. Vengeance is God\u2019s responsibility. So, you are not really letting your father off the hook; you are just releasing him to the only one who is just, fair, and able to correct or repay those who harm us.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the most precious lessons I\u2019ve learned from God is that he asks me to forgive because he loves me and wants me to be free\u2014free from bitterness and free to love even when it is hard. Forgiving and releasing my dad blessed me and my dad. I have never regretted my decision to forgive him. Especially now, since he died, I\u2019m so thankful that we had a few years in which I was free to relate to him in a way that pleased God.\u201d<\/p>\n

[Read the Bible Gateway Blog post, Why Being Faithful is Important: An Interview with Cynthia Heald<\/em><\/a>]<\/p>\n

Amy was understandably hesitant about going to her father. I said, \u201cAmy, the most important thing is that you forgive your dad. This forgiveness is between you and God. Forgiveness is essentially vertical; reconciliation is horizontal. After the vertical is taken care of, then trust God to guide in how to be reconciled. Pray and ask the Lord about if\u2014or when and where\u2014you need to talk with your dad. Surrender your situation to God, and let him guide you in the right way to relate to your dad. Sometimes sharing with the other person is needed, but it is not always necessary or beneficial.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was not easy for Amy to forgive her dad. It is never easy, but it is right\u2014for us. We are the ones who benefit.<\/p>\n

God is so clear about our forgiving others because he wants us to experience the gift of forgiveness. Forgiveness frees the forgiver from debilitating emotions that undermine and deplete our emotional and physical reserves. King Solomon reminds us<\/a>: \u201cA calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones.\u201d The apostle Paul expresses similar truth<\/a> in his letter to the Ephesian believers: \u201cGet rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Not only do harmful emotions damage us emotionally, but, as the Scriptures teach, these runaway emotions also corrode our bones. The abuse survivor quoted at the beginning of this chapter said that she longed to be free from the bitterness and rage that were destroying her. God wants us to forgive because he knows that a freed heart will lead to emotional and physical health.<\/p>\n